1. Finding the right person! It's a little strange, but so often we park in the wrong place. Staying to long where we know things aren't a good fit. None of us is looking for perfection but staying on top of what you want is important.
At the outset it's important to find someone you have a good time with, someone that shares your hopes and dreams and most importantly has fun in the ways you like to have fun. Isn't that really what its all about? Even in the worst of times, you should still be able to smile and feel great with you're closest friend?
It's ok to disagree, but finding someone that makes that easy is key.
2. Being able to Forgive
This is quite possibly the most important. To have a relationship that will really stand the test you have to have a way to maintain it. People will always make mistakes, and there must be a place to come to resolve those. Having a partner and a spirit in yourself that can truly forgive these mistakes is the best way to keep honesty in the relationship.
Its when the communication breaks down and people are unwilling to forgive that fear and anger sets in and we start looking to place our intimacies elsewhere.
It may be a sacrifice, but next time you see an opportunity to be angry, try forgiving rather than building on the anger. It's within us all to make mistakes, and it everyone's job to be able to overcome them.
3. Being Flexible
Being in a great relationship, means knowing you are sharing your lives and that means sometime your partner's needs will come before your own.
It can't be a battle. It's not fair or healthy to keep track of who's done more for whom. Love at its core is caring more for that other person's well being than your own.
The hope is that when two people can do this in balance the relationship is the true beneficiary. After all if you're having fun with your partner, doesn't that matter most?
4. Communicating
There are many relationships that don't survive because people haven't learned to really communicate. This is the most common way to break down.
The first part of communication is usually not what people expect. Before even looking outward, look inward! Take a moment before you speak and really try and understand what ii is you want the other person to know.
Put everything on the line, you're mistakes, and fears, as a mantra I think its fair to say that you're unabridged honesty should do no harm. The other conditions of a good relationship, like forgiveness and trust will deal with the problems once there out there but no one can deal with them until they have been said.
Make time for sharing with your partner each day. Don't let weeks go by where nothing is said, just have no motive, simply that you want to communicate honestly.
5. Planning your time.
The best part of being in healthy relationship is making plans for your time both today and on down the road.
There's so much innocent fun flirtation in making little plans for dates or for the weekend. Don't hide from it. Enjoy it!
It's better still to make some plans for the summer or further off. Talking about these dreams can be a great way to get to better know your partner, and will make today's work more bearable.
The truth is; there are things you can do to make your relationship better. It will always be a work in progress towards not only your partners health, but your own.
You've stepped off on this adventure of life together, bounding over problems and joys with hands held tightly hoping you make it to the other side intact. These five things will help you get there.
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